10 Phrases Guaranteed To Drive People Up The Wall

Posted by Whitney on 06/25/07 in Working with others

Stuck in traffic the other night, I was station surfing on the car radio trying to find a station that was airing something other than ads. I landed at 107.9 in time to hear John Tesh starting to discuss one of the night’s bits of what he calls “random intelligence.” The list of the moment: the ten most offensive phrases you can use in oral or written communication. Being a writer, I couldn’t help but stop and listen.

The list came from a survey conducted by Meryl Runion at SpeakStrong. In reverse order, the list includes:

I’m done with you.
I don’t care.
I couldn’t care less.
If you say so.
I’m just a clerk.
Bite me.
Whatever.
What’s your problem?
It’s not my job.
Shut up.

The full article on Runion’s Web site briefly describes why each phrase offends, as well as its obnoxiousness rating (as voted on by her readers). If you pillage her newsletter archives, you can find links to other “poison phrases” such as:

I guess that’s okay.
It’s easy.
No one tells me anything.
Settle down.
I’ll let you take care of this.

To any of her lists, I would add a word that I think is profoundly obnoxious — “obviously.” In 35+ years, I have yet to see or hear “obviously” used in a sentence that a) didn’t sound utterly condescending and b) wouldn’t leave the reader feeling like a big idiot if they didn’t know that which “should be obvious.”

What would you add?

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7 comments for this post.

Tumerica Said:
July 2nd, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Ew, I love to make lists of stuff like this.

—Each and every. (The redundancy gets to me.)

—Old school. (Because I am probably old school to most folks who would say it.)
Whitney Said:
July 3rd, 2007 at 2:31 am
I haven’t had “old school” used on me yet, but I suspect that when it is, it will sting as much as the first time I got “Ma’am-ed”!
Diana Said:
July 5th, 2007 at 7:11 am
Oh, I love these lists too.

“I don’t remember you saying that.” (It strikes me as “convenient amnesia.”) Worse is, “You never said that.”

“You need to…[fill in the blank]” (Unless you are a trained professional telling me how to perform CPR on someone in immediate need of it, you will have trouble convincing me that you know what I need.)

And my personal least favorite, said by well-intentioned but poorly informed loved ones to women undergoing infertility treatment: “You’d get pregnant faster if you’d just stop trying so hard.” (Yeah, that will improve sperm count or cause ovulation. Sure.)
Erin Blaskie Said:
October 17th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
What a great post! (Also a great reminder to be more conscious when writing as there are definitely those ‘hot spot’ words). Here are some of my least favorite phrases:

-> I’m not trying to be difficult but… (people shouldn’t comment on what they’re not trying to be because it highlights the fact that what they are about to say actually is difficult)

-> I know you’re busy… (people say this to me all of the time even when I say - no, I’m not busy at all)

-> Don’t be mad but… (whatever follows is going to more than likely be something upsetting)

Those are a few that drive me batty from time to time

Erin Blaskie
Business Services, ETC
http://www.bsetc.ca
Whitney Said:
October 24th, 2007 at 7:20 am
Hi Erin!
Thanks for the complement on the post!

A recent addition to my list is “You’re not going to like this but…” It didn’t used to bother me, but after hearing it on a near-daily basis for a month, it’s worn thin.

Thanks for stopping by!
Susan Said:
April 4th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
My current least favorite is “back in the day”. Guess that’s the youngsters’ way of saying back in the olden days.

I agree with the 10 on the list Whitney cited. Especially the “whatever” when it’s said by a pre-teen who is rolling her eyes at me!
Whitney Said:
April 4th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Susan:

To go along with the age-related “back in the day,” I add “at your age” or “for someone your age”…especially when it’s uttered by doctors. As in:

“It’s normal for someone your age to start having dry eye issues. Tear production drops as we age.” (from an optometrist)

“At your age, no, you’re not likely to bounce back from the flu as quickly as you did in college.” (from a family doctor)

“Whatever,” though, still remains my least favorite.

Thanks for dropping by!